Lent Series: Self-Awareness and St. Teresa of Avila, Part 2

What can hinder us in developing the humility sufficient for growth in self-awareness?

We need to be aware that the devil can present a false image of our situation: false humility and a false sense of our ‘state of soul’. This could present as pride - not acknowledging sin

or an inflation of our sense of sin, scruples, mistaking woundedness for sin or lack of self

worth. A victim position or self-abasement, are never true humility and could also be temptations.

Teresa possibly discovered the practice of the Ignatian daily ‘Examen’ through her various

Ignatian confessors.  The examen as a regular practice is really beneficial for us as we  journey towards self knowledge.  Looking at how we define and consider ourselves when examining our life in solitude and the narrative we give of ourselves to others helps bring light.  

Teresa didn’t suggest prolonged examens or unhealthy introspection as that could turn us in on ourselves. This training or ‘ascesis’ will reveal to us the truth of our soul, bringing an increase of humility, self-awareness and greater knowledge of God.  On the path to holiness there is healing that only God can do, through His grace, and other healing He will bring about if we co-operate.  Teresa encourages us to choose to do our part to receive God's sanctifying grace and healing. 

In becoming more aware of ourselves, we move from intellectual, ‘head knowledge’ to ‘heart

knowledge’, becoming aware of our origin and nature and our conscious and unconscious

motivations.  We also begin to know ourselves deeper from the point of view of prayer,

beginning to see ourselves as God sees us and thereby beginning to grow in union with Him.

By mansion six of The Interior Castle, as we open increasingly to awareness of God’s

grandeur, our littleness, our self-awareness gradually increases.

Soon we will become aware of our “shadow”, what Teresa refers to as “snakes and lizards”,the unconscious place where we may have buried painful experiences, wounds, and even things we are afraid to acknowledge.  These lurk outside the door of the castle of our soul.  Over time, growing in trust and humility, we will need to work through these elements of our shadow through patient prayer and abandonment to God’s loving mercy.  The help of spiritual accompaniment is also important here.

Growing awareness of the ‘reptiles’ shouldn’t lead us to false humility or abasement before God or others, nor self-aggrandizing.  Instead, Teresa speaks of God’s grandeur.  In the life of prayer, a leap of faith is needed from being awed by God’s grandeur to trusting in growing friendship with Jesus.  He will help us to be truly humble and know ourselves better.

Whereas today we consider this growth in self-awareness to be psychological work, Teresa instructs her sisters to bring it to prayer and ask God for interior light to see into the dark corners of shadow.  

To Teresa it doesn’t appear unusual to appeal to God for help to reach even the unconscious parts of the mind.  For her, His light can reach such hidden depths, the “interior world close at hand”.