Lent Series: Self-awareness and St. Teresa of Avila, Part 6

Growth in self-awareness involves tackling how we respond to every situation. 

If we learn about unconscious motivations for things and why we respond to situations and people in certain ways, we see the causes of ‘blocks’ or confusion.  With God’s help, we move forward on the contemplative journey.  We learn what to take responsibility for, confess and seek healing for, letting go of burdens that are not our responsibility. 

Through prayer, God can reveal the cause of frustration or anger, the failing or past hurt and help us unravel the unconscious parts that fear exposure, shame or pain.  This leads, with further prayer and healing, to freedom.  St. Teresa says this stage is necessary on the path to wholeness, healing and union with God.

There is a risk of scruples, in some personality types, or as a result of some wounds.  Excessive introversion, over sensitivity to perceived sin, or not accepting forgiveness, can be damaging and painful to live with.  Teresa was aware of this issue. 

Our openness to learn from God (docibilitas) is essential, to trust what His Word and His Church teaches is true, even if it doesn’t always ‘feel’ true.  Only by learning trust, acknowledging the dignity and value of ourselves and each soul before God, are we able to stand before Him in truth.  Only true self-awareness allows this kind of peace and flourishing to develop.

Modern depth psychology lines up with this approach.  St. Teresa was ahead of her time in understanding the human psyche (which she called the soul).  The necessary work this takes can be done through Spiritual Direction.  However, deeper issues or psychological imbalances are better helped through psychotherapy.  The benefits in working through such issues can be remarkable.  No-one needs to be afraid or ashamed of such a journey.

The first step in self-awareness is to enter into the 'room' of self-awareness Teresa describes in The Interior Castle, through prayer and humility, facing the truth about ourselves, which we may find hard.  Our Spiritual Director can help us see ourselves in truth, looking beyond the blind spots, to say with Paul, 'I don't understand why I act as I do.. I keep doing the bad things I hate….'

We must seek God’s help, through prayer and those around us, reaching out of our comfort zone.  We need learn to be open to God, ourselves and our Spiritual Director - as one of Teresa’s prerequisites for self-awareness - though trust can be hard for a wounded soul.  St. Teresa suggests that we will be unable to express our natural gifts if we don't acknowledge the riches we have been given, even if they seem mundane.

We need to develop the practice of being present to God, becoming present also to our unconscious.  The inward journey also calls for a step outside ourselves.  She must ask God to shine in our dark corners to uncover us to ourselves, in ways we may never have experienced.   This work might resemble that of an archeologist uncovering a treasure slowly and gently, without doing damage to the treasure.  

It might take a while to see ourselves in God’s light and learn who we are in His eyes, due to the many messages of our culture presenting us with so many false messages.  Through her writing Teresa learned to open up about herself, share her experience, expose her spiritual and psychological weaknesses and see her flaws.  We need to learn to do this, with the help of our Spiritual Director.  We will also grow in self- knowledge by meditating on the words of Jesus and reading Teresa’s words.

Unless willing to begin the inward journey, seeking the ‘inner light’ of God’s action within us, this path of true healing won’t begin.  Only when we open up to God in our true ‘interior’, recognising that we can do nothing without His help, seeking His healing through facing our shadows and allowing Him to penetrate our dark corners, will we begin to heal.

We need to develop detachment, letting go on every level in order to be free.  In our consumer society, we need to learn that this goes deeper than detachment from things.  As the spiritual life deepens, we detach from what holds us back from deeper communion with God and others.  We face our limitations, where we had been blind before, especially where we lack love and close ourselves off. 

Once the prayer journey begins in earnest, distractions and difficulties will come into view, even our unconscious areas we have hitherto been unaware of and the realisation of hidden motives, unknown aspects of our character and mysterious obstacles can be frightening.  Fears or distorted self image can block or damage growth in self-awareness.  

Modern depth-psychology agrees that self-awareness is important for healing and gaining a clear insight into hidden parts of the soul and psyche that need acknowledgement, acceptance and challenge, within the self, others and before God.  Learning about hidden motivations are helpful on the spiritual journey, difficult.  Insights from psychological reading can help, however, we may need professional psychological help for more complex issues.  Nevertheless, Teresa expects that growth in the spiritual life will lead to psychological healing too.

The benefits coming from this new self-appreciation are great as God reveals us to ourselves.  From a modern world of exterior and interior noise never imagined by Teresa, once we have learned prayerful silence and meditating on scripture, guided by our Spiritual Director, we begin to value supernatural riches and see the harmfulness of sinful inclinations alongside hidden wounds.  Searching ourselves with the light of God in our soul helps free us from fears. 

Our Spiritual Director knows there is always the risk of self-deception, and a need to discern the light of God from false light.  She will encourage us, return us to the Gospels and prayer to continue the ‘inner work’ of listening to the Father’s forming action as more of ourselves is revealed, leading us to the truth of who we are before Him.  This journey to self-awareness is always ongoing. 

Growth in self-awareness will also lead to growth in virtue expressed in love and good works for others, which Teresa considered an important fruit of spiritual growth.  Gradually, through God’s loving action and inner light, we will notice increased love for others, growth in virtue and openness to God.  Opening ourselves to receive love as well as giving love too.

The virtue of forgiving and the vice of forgetting (who we are)

Today's gospel (John 8: 1-11) sees Jesus perform one of His iconic acts of forgiveness. The woman who was brought to Him has been caught in adultery. The law is clear: she must be stoned to death. And yet Jesus blocks this process, inviting only those without sin to cast the first stones. In the end, everyone goes away, and Jesus tells the woman that He too does not condemn her but to go and sin no more.

There are several points that we could reflect on in this gospel. The first is to observe the difference between Jesus’ act of largess and what passes today for tolerance. Today's tolerance wishes to buffer the conscience against all discomfort. But that is not what Jesus does. He does not hesitate to call sin “sin”. Notice that He makes no excuses for the woman to the crowd who are mobbed about her. He does not, for example, suggest that perhaps she was committing adultery because her own marriage was so deeply unhappy, and that in this adultery she was actually clinging to an authentic expression of love. He does not forgive her on the basis that her sin was slight, or that rightly seen, she was really following the light. She was in the wrong. What she needed was not an excuse but a grace. In fact, she could not receive such a grace except from the hands of a Saviour who was intent on rescuing her. But notice finally that He sends her away with the duty to embrace her responsibilities. If she has been forgiven, she too must now change her path, put aside everything wayward, and turn back to the path that leads to God. So must we all, after sin and repentance.

Perhaps the second thing to observe is the risk we run of being that mob. Naturally, we do not want to behave like this towards people whose lives are unfaithful to the path of Christ. But more than that, there is perhaps the risk in us that we behave like this mob towards Jesus. This mob, after all, is not driven by outrage over the breaking of the law. Rather, this mob is instigated by those who are the rivals of Jesus. If the scribes and Pharisees are zealous for the law, they are perhaps even more zealous about their own status, and Jesus is a rival to this status.

So how do we rival with Jesus? Perhaps we do this when we are disappointed by our failure to be perfect. If we try again to be good after sin and repentance, that is no less then Jesus asks us to do: go and sin no more. If we then sin again, the appropriate response is contrition and repentance. But perfectionism teaches us to expect more of ourselves and, therefore, to be disappointed by our failures. Perfectionism, in other words, teaches us to focus ourselves and, thereby, rival with Christ.

The danger for most of the people reading this blog (and writing it!) is not that they, like the woman in this gospel, might fall into marital infidelity (although let’s not rule out the risk entirely!). The danger is that along the path of discipleship, we all might focus on ourselves and thereby forget who we really are: souls called to the friendship of Christ.

Lent Series: Self-Awareness and St. Teresa of Avila, Part 5

The necessity of self-awareness for spiritual growth

Did St. Teresa’s pre-requisites for growth in the spiritual life require self-awareness? 

Through her writing, Teresa lists elements she considered for holiness, all underpinned by increased self- knowledge.  

• We should be living according to God’s will, calling for knowledge of self, to recognise and respond to the forming action of the Father in and through life, to avoid just following our own ideas.  

• Growth in virtue must take place right now in serving God and receiving His favours.  

• We need to know ourselves, being honest if we put off our efforts for a more convenient time and being aware of our motivations. Are we really giving God our all?  Self-giving is necessary for growth. How easy it is to deceive ourselves.

• God's purifying action in us is also needed to grow in union with God’s own purity.  

• We need self-awareness to honestly face our defects, which will become clearer the closer we come to God.  Being aware of our nature, failings and sins, we will learn to see ourselves in truth.  

• Penance is also needed. Self-knowledge, of our own capacities and will, are needed if penances are to bear fruit.

God will only allow us to grow closer to Himself, in holiness, when we are ready, respecting our free will. Readiness cannot be contrived, we need to open ourselves to God.  Openness, says Teresa, comes with courage and generosity. 

The journey through 'the mansions of the Castle' is not linear; it is possible to regress as well as progress.  As we become more aware of difficulties, sin, temptations and struggles leading us off the road, we will gradually find it easier to keep our eyes fixed ahead.  Nevertheless, we will need to have learned about ourselves first, and know our own weaknesses.

Growth in virtue deepens prayer.  There is no pretending virtue, we need to put the work in and ask for grace to grow in the virtues we need.  Only when aware of our shortfall in virtue will we succeed in identifying the right areas to work on to really grow in virtue. 

Teresa prescribes determination as the best way to growth because the journey is hard work.  We need to set out fully resolved, ready for trials, troubles, assaults and failings on the way.  These will come from within as well as the difficulties life brings.  If we are aware of our weaknesses and shadows we will be equipped to bring determination along.

Self-knowledge runs as a theme through Teresa’s prerequisites for growth in the spiritual life, and is necessary at every stage.  If we have a clear picture of ourselves we will see ourselves as God sees us and better understand His vision for us.  This brings healing in our relating to Him, seeing Him walk with us through life, once we see Who is the true source and that every experience is His initiative. 

When we understand ourselves, possessing all the qualities Teresa required, we will understand how we relate to God and others in our lives, seeing ourselves in the truth of who we are.

Praying for the moon

Today's gospel (John 4:43-54) is an object lesson in the uses of prayer. A court official at Cana had a son dangerously ill at Capernaum. He asks for Jesus' help and receives news of his son's recovery even before he has arrived home. He and his family believed the gospel! He asked for the moon and he got it. Job done... Or is it?

No doubt on that day there were other households in Capernaum who saw no such relief from the miserable burden of the loss of a child. None of them came to ask Jesus for his help, as far as we know. Nobody who asks Jesus' help in the gospel meets refusal. And yet they too surely lifted up their voices to heaven for the recovery of their children. Why was the prayer of this court official heard and yet not all the prayers of parents for their sick children are heard? 

Why, in fact, pray? God is perfect and cannot change. We cannot conceive of His transcendence over creation. This is why some people become fatalistic. Everything that happens is kismet - destiny. No prayer is possible from this position. 

So, again, why pray? We are talking here about the prayer of petition.  We can offer prayers of adoration and thanksgiving, not to mention contrition,  but all these are about what we owe to God; not what He does for us. Do our prayers of petition risk making God into a sugar daddy?

St Augustine's answer to these conundrums is simple: as we approach the living eternal God, source of all, we pray for what God has determined from eternity that we should obtain by freely asking. And here is the wonder. When our court official approached Jesus, Jesus had already thought of him first. He offered him this meeting from eternity, and the court official made a hundred decisions that day that might have risked his not encountering Jesus. And yet at some point, he put aside his business and his work worries; he turned from the lunchtime entertainment in Cana's taverna; and he went in search of the man that everyone was talking about. But God had sought him first. Jesus did not respond to his prayer as a pure response; He inspired the prayer in the man who cooperated with that grace.

So, what about the times our prayers are not answered? Are those prayers useless? Is God being mean by saying no or not yet? Those prayers do not change God, says C. S. Lewis; they change us. Job's prayers did not save his household and his possessions. They took him rather to a much more exalted place of utter dependence on the God who would share His very goodness and happiness with us. When God does not answer our prayers as we wish, it is because there is something much more valuable that we need to focus on. 

Magic tries to manipulate the world to our will. We have to be very careful not to think that prayer is meant to do the same thing. Of course we must ask for our daily bread and our necessities, but in the end God's greatest gift is always himself. 

The unanswered prayer is not a slap from heaven, even when it feels like it. It is a call to go beyond and come deeper into the mystery of a God who longs to give us His Almighty Heart.

Lent Series: Self-awareness and St. Teresa of Avila, Part 4

Interiority over time

We can move forward in our understanding of ‘self-awareness’ according to St. Teresa by relating it to the concept of ‘interiority’. The ancient instruction, ‘Know Thyself’ is a well known maxim.   When Teresa wrote about the ‘soul’, she included the ‘psyche’ of today.  Spiritual self-awareness and psychological self-awareness were two sides of the same coin and spiritual growth can coincide with deeper psychological healing and maturity.

Reading through the classical lens of Teresa, her Confessors and Spiritual Directors, we hear the influence of St. Augustine’s notion of the ‘self’ sounding loudly.  Augustine grew up studying Plato, who linked the classical notion of ‘psyche’ with the divine.  St. Paul focused instead on ‘spirit’, whereas St. Augustine, joined the two together.  

Augustine’s autobiographical writing may be a precursor for Teresa’s own Life; possibly the original example of spiritual journaling in order to grow in self-awareness - both ‘soul’ and ‘psyche’, becoming humble and ultimately reaching God who was ‘always within’.  Augustine developed the theme of interiority, emphasising the inner-self, focused on bringing out what lies within the soul while experiencing spiritual healing and awakening on a psychological level.  The soul in the Interior Castle goes on a similar journey of self-awareness and awakening to spiritual and emotional maturity.

The ‘interiority’ of Augustine is important for self-awareness.  In the Carmelite tradition, confirming Augustine, the presence of God exists in the exterior, physical world and equally in our own silent, invisible, interior world of our soul or ‘psyche’.  Augustine shows us a technique of finding God within whereby the soul looks to her own experiences, considers the world around, becoming conscious of herself by ‘reliving’ her ‘experience’ through self-examination, and learning ‘the way the world is for itself and on itself as the agent of experience’.  The sixteenth century saw a rise in interest in St. Augustine and Teresa’s Confessors must have known this.  Hidden inner life and developing interiority were Teresa’s focus, following Augustine’s instruction: ‘Do not go outward; return within yourself. In the inward man dwells truth’.  Teresa knew the ‘light’ of God, shining in her soul, which ‘always leaves greater light that we may understand the little that we are’.  The favoured route to self-awareness for Teresa was this light of God.  She followed a long tradition back to Plato’s ‘inner light’ and Augustine’s encouragement to find God within.  

Augustine and Teresa agreed they wouldn’t find the truth in their souls per se, only in the light of God, seeing themselves as God saw them, using His lens.  This takes us back to St. Paul’s approach to self-awareness ast he begged the Romans, Corinthians and Philippians to have the ‘mind of Christ’.  In the Interior Castle, Teresa has met God in her soul and wants her nuns to meet Him too.  She guides them within, as Augustine suggests, on the royal road to union.  This is the way to transcendence; the soul is led upwards, out of herself to God, going within.

Sweet conceit

Today's gospel (Luke 4: 24-30) should be sobering for us.

We read in this gospel of an attempt that was made on Jesus’ life. Until the moment of His passion, this is the only event in which His life is threatened during his adulthood. But this happens in His own hometown. And not only is His life threatened, but the townspeople lead him towards a cliff to throw Him down it. One imagines this place to be the scene of countless childhood games for the youth of the area, for children are always drawn towards danger. And now, it is set to become the place of a brutal and murderous assault.

What is most concerning here is that the people laying hands on Him are those who have known Him for the longest time. It is His neighbours and perhaps even some former friends who are suddenly filled with this violent compulsion against Christ. How skin-deep the appearances can be! Those who have known Him best have the dubious distinction of being those who have threatened Him most.

The lesson for us is simple: we should beware of familiarity with Christ. Familiarity breeds contempt. Easy acquaintanceship is a trap. We are called to something much deeper and much more alive. We are called to a friendship which would defy the madness of crowds and the bullying self-justifications of a mob who find their reassurance in the fact that everyone shares their inclinations and their outrage. What has Jesus told them that makes them so mad if not that they must not stand on their privileges?

Every one of us, and especially the most powerful, should give serious thought to the dangerous seductions that our supposedly sweet but secretly self-congratulatory intentions give way to. What defenders of the honour of the prophets must these violent neighbours of Christ believed themselves to be! How much steadier and more sensible was their view when compared to that of this young upstart Jesus! How much more respectable were they than a man who had broken every rule of good sense and respectability by tipping over the tables of money changers in the temple!

Like them, we should beware of sweet conceit.

On being salt and light

Today's gospel (Matthew 5: 13-16) sees Jesus deliver a teaching that is all about the self-awareness of the disciple. Jesus addresses his disciples with two metaphors: you are the salt of the earth and you are the light of the world. The stakes of self-awareness enter into the equation when He invites the disciples to reflect on whether they are faithful to these challenges of discipleship.

In both cases, it is a matter of balance. On the one hand the salt must not be tasteless. Salt induces the sense of taste precisely by stimulating the sensitivity of taste buds. If food is not excessively salted, what we taste is the food that is enhanced, not the salt. In the case of the disciples, what is interesting is that Jesus calls them the salt of the earth. God made the earth and everything in it: every joyous thing - from the scent of a delicate flower to the pleasures of marital union - is His gift. But sin alienates as from every good thing, and it is only within the framework of our relationship with Almighty God that we can rediscover the truth of things, even of ourselves. In this sense, discipleship must itself be a journey of incarnation in which divine grace reshapes the fabric of the world and the fabric of our lives in His image. When the Holy Spirit moves the Gift of Knowledge in us, we read deeply into things the imprint of the finger of God. Beyond the physical appearances lie the mysteries of the love that conceived and created everything around us. Perhaps, if we are faithful, others too will discern that mystery through what they see in us: in that sense, we can be the salt that awakens them to the mystery just waiting for them.

But I said above that this is a matter of balance, and perhaps this is better seen in the second metaphor of the gospel: you are the light of the world. On Ash Wednesday, we heard Jesus tell us to hide ourselves away when we pray and do penance. Here in this gospel, we hear Him command the opposite: let our light shine before men. Yet, just as salt must be balanced, so too must light. We must not hide away unnecessarily; even Jesus chose his moments to speak and fled the crowds. Not to hide our light is a matter of just being who we are. While it commands integrity, it also requires discretion. Jesus’ command is to be the light of the world, but there is a difference between being the light of the world and trying to shine that light directly into someone’s eyes! This differs according to context and individual. Some people are ready to look for the light; yet others are so accustomed to darkness that a rude illumination is as likely - if not more likely - to provoke them to screw their eyes up tight, rather than opening them.

If being the salt of the earth requires the Gift of Knowledge, being the light of the world requires the movements of the Gift of Counsel. We cannot use these gifts of our own accord. All we can do is beg the Holy Spirit to move them in us; all we can do is try to remove every obstacle in us to their movement, readying ourselves to be docile instrument in the hands of the Master. 

Then, both we and those for whom we aspire to be both salt and light may be able one day to give praise together to our Father in heaven.   

Lent Series: Self-awareness and St. Teresa of Avila, Part 3

How did St. Teresa explain the journey to self-awareness? 

St. Teresa of Avila uses images of the soul as a caterpillar, butterfly or the hard working bee to help explain developing spiritual self-awareness and the part God plays in that growth.  Teresa found symbols helpful in undrstanding this relationship.  We can develop our own symbols and images, helping us grasp and vocalise the hidden parts of our shadow and God’s action therein. 

When our prayer is wordless, or we find our sentiments are inexpressible, a symbol or image can help focus and bring out what needs further work and consideration. God is working slowly in us, bringing about transformation through this ‘purgation’ or purification, leading to greater union with Himself, through increased self-awareness.  Dreams can operate similarly, also providing symbols.  Carl Jung said symbols helped to express unconscious mystical ideas as yet unknown to our conscious mind. 

Teresa doesn’t consider inner work as specifically psychological, for her it is all part of profound prayer.  She believed imagination and understanding to be all one.  Teresa believed the mind can find peace and healing by prayerfully working through the various issues arising, leading to increased understanding of where we are at with God, in humility, and therefore closer union with Him. 

We don't need to worry if our thoughts and imagination are upset or confused by what comes up in prayer, in images and symbols or dreams.  Even if our mind is in turmoil, interiorly, if our will and understanding are fixed on God, who can help being at peace?

As well as the "reptiles and lizards" of unresolved issues lurking at the door of the castle, we face our “snakes and vipers”, as Teresa calls our sinful tendencies, left in our souls due to original sin.   This aspect of inner work and truthful acknowledgement is essentual for self-awareness.  We know we’re not alone, that we sin and we have sinful tendencies, through the wounds picked up along the way through life experience, habits and individual brokenness.  

Through Confession we can work hard to fight our root sin and our tendencies to repeat the same sins, (by prayerfuly asking God to help us work on developing their opposite virtues).

Being sorry for our sins, Teresa’s says, and once free of past sins, we will grow in understanding of our dignity as beloved of God, made in His image.  Teresa says we must be grateful for the graces received and aware we always have capacity for more progress and greater holiness.  When God’s light reveals our true worth to us, we will avoid pride and be grateful for all the graces received, hoping to merit them and continue making progress.

Self-knowledge in the spiritual journey is a developing, humble awareness of our situation in the concrete. We begin to see ourselves, ‘warts and all’, in the light of God’s love, mercy and acceptance, in reality.  Over time we will begin to develop a ‘God’s-eye-view’ on our situation - for good or ill. 

He reaches out in friendship, helping us know ourselves, unashamed and unafraid.  Seeing our situation through His eyes, increasing self-awareness, we learn to accept God’s mercy and move forward in our prayer journey.  God does this so we will see ourselves clearly. 

Teresa points out another advantage: our understanding and will become ennobled and prepared for every good. so we will grow in virtue and love for others, the signs of a healthy spiritual life!

Union with God is the goal and end-point of our journey; this is the best preparation for future graces and the many blessings He wishes to bestow.

Asking too much and too little

Today's blog goes from the sublime to the ridiculous. Happily, clowns are closer to God than clever people. This was originally published on 25 July 2023.  

***********

Today's gospel (Matthew 20: 17-28) is one of those gospels that give us a strong personal flavour of the characters involved, and perhaps of the assumptions they were accustomed to make around Jesus. 

Why didn't James and John get their father to approach Jesus to ask Him for the two top jobs in his kingdom? If Israel is such a patriarchy, what on earth is going on here? It says something intriguing about the nuances in the system, or perhaps about her closeness to Jesus, that their mother, not their father, approaches Jesus with this request. If the reason for their father not making the request is that he does not approve of Jesus, it is all the more wonder that both his children and his wife are so closely aligned with Him. Perhaps this complexity should warn us also not to judge things simplistically by their appearances. Israeli women were powerful; just powerful in a different way to their menfolk. Their children were Jews by the maternal line.  

So much for the assumptions of the time. This gospel tells us something also about the assumptions we are capable of making when we pray.   

On the one hand, the mother of James and John is asking too much. How is it remotely possible to ask too much of our infinitely bountiful God? We ask too much when we imagine that our riches are His riches, or that our idea of generosity is His. 'Too much' is a measure of the things of this world - created things - for one can never have too much of God. The request made to Jesus assumes that the glory of His kingdom is like the glory of a human kingdom, i.e. that it translates into power, renown and influence. 

Like the apostles, we ask too much when we fixate on what we believe we need, while failing to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. For if we sought those things first, our own understanding of what to ask for would be transformed. We would see that God does not want us to have things like a sugar daddy would, but simply - unfathomably - to have Him. In which condition we lay our hands on the earth and revel in its delights only insofar as they reflect the One we love and what He calls us to be. Everything then can be held literally in prayer because everything draws the praise of His glory from our hearts. In this sense, the tragedy of this ill-advised request by the mother of James and John is what it tells us about their failure to see things as Jesus saw them.

And yet at the same time, because they do not have the measure of all things, i.e. God's measure, they ask too little of what they really need: His love and friendship. Let me illustrate my point with a little imagination ...

***

The same gospel scene unfolds afresh but somewhat differently. Rather than asking their own mother to approach Jesus, James and John have had the solid notion that the quickest route to glory in Jesus' kingdom is to ask His mother Mary to negotiate for them. The conversation goes like this.

James and John speak discreetly to Mary: We were thinking of asking Jesus something ... well...(they look at each other and back at Mary) ... you know... 

Mary smiles at them: Oh yes, what were you thinking of asking him? 

Suddenly, some distance away there is a rude eruption of laughter among the other apostles. James and John look around at Peter (who has just told another fisherman's joke and is braying like a donkey).

They look back at Mary, raise their eyebrows, and rolls their eyes. 

Surely, their meaning is obvious... to them at least...

Mary (smiling again): Oh, I see. Well, I will do my best.

Mary sidles over to where Jesus is sitting slightly apart, tired after a long day but now resting.  His face lights up as she approaches and offers him a cup of water.

Mary: It's James and John ... (Jesus, who knows what she is going to say, begins to grin widely). 

Mary continues: They wanted me to ask about their position in your kingdom, but ... well ... Let me put it like this. Can you just help them to say 'yes' to the Father every moment of their lives? Can you just ask them to say 'thank you' to the Father every moment of their lives?

Jesus: Like you, mother?

Mary smiles: I'm very fond of them. Do I ask too much?

Jesus looks into the distance: It is the only thing that is not too much. But then anything else would be too little. 

Mary: I'm not sure they'll understand.

Jesus (looking back at Mary): They will one day.

Mary returns to James and John who look hopefully at her. 

James and John: So, what did he say?

Mary replies (looking over at Jesus): He said anything else would be too little. 

James and John look at each other excitedly and return to making plans ... for a future that will be beyond anything they asked for or ever imagined.

On being good

Today's gospel (Luke 6:36-38) might seem on the one hand to offer us an opportunity to do something nice in the modern sense of that word. Be compassionate. Do not judge. Do not condemn. Who could object to such commands as these?

The challenge is of course somewhat different depending on who we are. As people of faith, we are called to believe in the mysteries of God and in the wisdom of the teachings of Jesus, things the modern world might find not so nice. But this is why judging can be so difficult to avoid. We feel like we owe it to the profession of our faith to cast judgement. We feel that we cannot be true to our principles if we do not condemn.

These instincts are in fact good (owing something to our profession of faith and being true to our principles) but they lead us to the wrong conclusions because they are not sufficient. First, we cannot live them truly without humility, and humility requires us to acknowledge that there may be circumstances we are not aware of, especially in matters that do not fall under our responsibility. Second, we must distinguish between judgement and judgement. The kind of judgement that Jesus is talking about here is the one that weighs up the soul of another person and pronounces sentence as it were, arrogating to itself a function that belongs to God, the keeper of consciences. But that is not the only kind of judgement. Jesus’ command most certainly does not require us to stick our head in the ground, to pretend that evil is good, or that someone cannot have done evil just because they happen to hold a certain role or office. We now know too much about the evil consequences of such "non-judgementalism". Nor does Jesus' command mean we should refrain from lamenting the effects of actions that are wicked in themselves (like gossip), even if their author did them inadvertently. Not judging does not preclude the possibility that we have to speak the truth about things. Prudence may require that we hold back but not love. Love requires us to go on; to contend with the evil done, even while refraining from condemning the evil doer. Ultimately we might recall this piece of wisdom: we are called to be like the saints - tough on principles but easy on people; not like the devil - easy on principles but hard on people. Too often, we are tempted to be easy on principles and on people. But that is a religion for nice people with nice feelings; not for the likes of those who aspire to follow a Saviour who overturns the tables of money lenders and calls Pharisees whitened sepulchres!

In a way this brings us to the second part of the gospel. In the first sentence Jesus had required us to be as compassionate as our Father is. This point of comparison underpins all the more the command that Jesus now delivers: to give and to give freely in full measure like our Father in heaven who is goodness itself. When the medieval scholastic theologians discussed the meaning of goodness, they observed that it is in the nature of goodness to share itself. Goodness does not hold back. Goodness pours itself forth. Goodness aspires to be diffused all around. Perhaps the last element of this goodness is that it must not count the cost:

My candle burns at both ends,

It will not last the night,

But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends,

It gives a lovely light.

Edna Saint Vincent's words were not meant to be a commentary on the gospel, but they very much are. 

How we want our goodness and our giving to be acknowledged, and it will be - but by God! We should not demand our own wages from others. We should not let our right hand know what our left hand is doing. When we do, we turn ourselves into employees who offer their services only in return for something. We should give not to the point of exhaustion (or resentment), but to the measure of joy. For it is in giving that we receive, as St Francis says. The good are simple and open handed. 

The paradox here is that when we aspire to such goodness and practise it, then it is God who judges us benignly, and not only judges us but rewards us. Indeed, He rewards us with himself principally because to share oneself in such away is to be like Him. 

We cannot do any of this without his grace. Yet, as He tells St Paul: my grace is sufficient for you. We only need ask Him for the living waters - for them to flow freely through us and onto others.