A recording of today's gospel and reflection can be accessed here.
Today’s gospel (Luke 17: 7-10) comes among a series of admonitions
from the Lord. Seen in the context of the preceding admonition concerning the
necessity of faith, today’s passage may simply be advice not to become too
prideful if our faith is such that even the elements obey our very word. We are
servants, and even when we return from our hard labours in the fields, what
should we expect but to be treated as servants are, with this final lesson:
We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our
duty.
Every vocation, every invitation to holiness, is only a call
to reflect in some way the beauty of God, and to reflect in a particular,
concrete way the beauty of the Lord Jesus, the Word of God made flesh who lived
among us. Today’s admonition of the Lord is then just such another dimension of
that call which, for all of us, is to live according to the mystery of the Lord’s
self-emptying. In the Lord’s case, all honour was due to Him since He was God
eternal, born of the Father before all ages. In the incarnation, He chose this
self-emptying in order to walk among us, to embrace our every condition even
the lowliest, and so to make real before our eyes that the delight of God is to
be with the children of men; and more than that, to show His readiness to take
on the burden of the world’s sin. How much more then should we be ready to
follow the Lord into this mystery of His self-emptying, his kenosis as
the theologians call it? For in our case the honour on which our hearts feed,
on which our inner-self sometimes gorges, is not the honour due to us but the
honour we seek for ourselves. What can this mean?
In the first place, what it cannot mean is to turn from self-aggrandizement
to a condition known as abasement. Abasement is a dissonant need, a search
within us for diminishment, a readiness to blame ourselves or to dwell upon our
inferiority or unworthiness. Abasement is not humility; in fact, like so many
bad tendencies, it is merely an ape or imitation of the good, like the devil is
the ape of God. Abasement brings satisfaction, just as physical self-harm can bring
satisfaction, i.e. in a way that reveals already the deeper disorders in our self-love.
For self-harm or abasement are only the flipside of an inordinate self-love,
and these extremes live in weird proximity to each other. To quote lines this
blog returns to from time to time from the novel of Georges Bernanos’s Diary
of a Country Priest: It is easier than we think to hate ourselves. Grace
means forgetting ourselves. A third element in this toxic mix is that
abasement may only be a reaction to the disappointments of another dissonant
need: that of succorance, the need to be needed by others, with all its
attendant processes where the heart expects payment for due deference or
affection. Succorance is the vice of the looking glass where we imagine we are
only what we believe others think we are, where we make ourselves indebted to
their esteem.
It is a great paradox that the cure and remedy to both these
dissonant needs lies in the self-emptying that Jesus recommends to us today in
the gospel. After all our labours, He tells us, we must still regard ourselves
only as unprofitable servants. But why? Because our ennoblement must come to us
as through the gift of grace, for we are the sinners that He came to save. It is
much as St Augustine of Hippo said:
If we examine the evil we have wrought, what we suffer is
little, what we deserve is great.
What we have committed is very grievous, what we have
suffered is very slight.
We feel the punishment of sin, yet withdraw not from the
obstinacy of sinning.
So then, when we have done our duty, we can hardly boast
about it.
Freedom here lies in neither conducting an inner trade with
our self-esteem - demanding recognition for our works as if our slate had
always been clean – nor in believing ourselves intrinsically incapable of any
good. These extreme valuations or devaluations, we must pour out of our soul
for them to be replaced by the example of the Lord who is meek and humble and
peaceful of heart.
But if we cannot abandon the wage demands that we make to
the Father, let our first demand be a living and unending union with Divine Love.
You have written well of my Sacrament, Jesus said to
St Thomas Aquinas in a vision. What would you ask of me?
Nothing but yourself, Lord, was the reply of the Dumb
Ox.
For the self-emptying of the Son in our service is only a
function of the greater cycle of Divine Love that passes between the persons of
the Blessed Trinity and in which God Himself has called us to share if only we
will follow the Son back to His heavenly Kingdom, the Divine Pied Piper. Our
hearts still tremble for the foothills of human esteem, recognition, and
affection, and may all these things be added unto us, but first we are called
to seek the Kingdom of God and His love and His goodness, to receive His
invitation to this adventure as our most precious possession, and as our greatest
honour. It is this dignity, which comes to us by His gift, that raises us up
from being merely unworthy servants, turns us into adopted children who receive
a ring of honour, and sits us among His chosen ones at the Banquet of the Sacrificed
Lamb.
Like our Mother Mary, we are the anawim, the little
ones of the Lord. We do not recognise our unworthiness in order to sink into
the mire. Rather, we recognise it so we can better appreciate the gift He makes
us of His enduring and ever-faithful love. We do not recognise our unworthiness
to persecute ourselves. We recognise it so as to be free of the shackles of our
inner trade, grappling with all the imaginings of human self-promotion, so as
to be free to rise and dance before our Father’s joy with a freedom wherewith His
Son has made us free.