"This is thy dowry, sweet Virgin; do thou rule over it, O Mary!" (pg. 14)

The Book of life explains the traditional understanding of a dowry and how England was 'set aside' by King Richard ii as such a gift to Our Lady, making us all heirs to this legacy of being dedicated to her in a special way.  He claimed our Lady as heavenly queen in the hearts of the people too in exchange, giving us the opportunity to claim in our turn, a special place in her heart.  Only in very few places on earth is the Hail Mary included in the Prayer of the Faithful at every Mass, as a sign of our place in her heart as her dowry.

This exchange is translated beautifully in terms of the Divine Will.  We can explore the deeper ideas around the Divine will of God later in the book but here there's a gentle introduction to what God means to give us, through looking at Our Lady and seeing what she can help us to understand in that important line of the Our Father, 'Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven'.

While claiming Our Lady as heavenly queen and protector of our land, we can ask her to do the same in our lives too, as the Book of Life says, we can: "ask Our Lady to rule over our minds, hearts, wills and bodies so that we offer ourselves in union with her to God... through Mary, we offer our human will (our dowry) as a gift to the Lord God, in exchange for his Divine Will." (pg. 14)  His Divine Will is His kingdom He wishes to share with us, so it becomes such a natural part of our life as it is to God Himself.

If we live with that attitude of mind and heart as being someone 'set aside' as a gift to Our Lady (as St. John Paul ii considered himself entirely consecrated to her - 'Totus Tuus' all yours), as actually forming part of her physical dowry, we will be embarking more fully on the journey to living in the Divine Will and offering our own will to the Father.  

By saying our 'fiat' in the little things of every day, with an attitude of not belonging just to ourselves but set aside for Our Lady to offer to God's Holy Will, we are firmly on the royal road first trodden to Walsingham a six hundred years ago.

A pilgrim's reflection: praying poorly in the dark

 "When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout and to say, ‘Son of David, Jesus, have pity on me.’" Mark 10:47

Blind Bartimaeus in today's gospel gives us one of the tenderest prayers uttered in Jesus' hearing. Not only is it tender, it is also filled with faith, as Jesus observes when he cures Bartimaeus, saying, "Your faith has saved you." 

Could Bartimaeus be the patron saint of those who sit in what feels like total darkness in our sorry world? Our own blindness, or at least the limitations of our vision, seems to make beggars of us all. As the French writer Fabrice Hadjadj says, we are so poor that we must also beg our voices from God to offer him our prayers. 

But it strikes me that this is not a sad recognition but a liberating one. I have been thinking a lot lately on that line from the sequence of Pentecost, "Come, thou Father of the poor." To realise we are poor and dependent, like blind Bartimaeus, is not to become poor but to step out of our self sufficiency. At the end of the gospel, Bartimaeus is told to 'Go', but in fact he interprets that command by following Jesus along the road. Jesus granted him his freedom and he spent it instantly on following Jesus.

Yet what does Bartimaeus's shouting mean? No doubt he hollered loud to be heard over the crowd. But, this phrase has an excess about it, rather like in the parable Jesus tells of the man who eventually gives in to his neighbour's repeated request for help in the night (Luke 11:5-8). 

Some people pray loud (and fast), like Irish grannies or Bartimaeus. Some pray with minimal fuss and movement, like the Roman centurion. I wonder if what they have in common is the shared universal need to pray with both faith and poverty - with belief in Jesus and a sense of one's own indigence. Then, when Jesus restores to us our freedom, we can spend it extravagantly on him in gratitude, like the newly sighted Bartimaeus.   

"the Holy House is pivotal to the understanding of our spirituality..." (pg. 12)

Each one of us is called to become a 'holy house', like Mary.  Each individual soul can be emptied of self and filled instead with God's love.  As the Book of Life says, 

'This is the object of our formation: to enable each person to arrive at a true spirit of docibilitas... totally surrendered to the Father's action in the events and reality of one's life'

If we are truly accepting of the reality of each day - with all the ups and downs, difficult as well as easy things we face all the time - we can gradually say 'yes' to what Our Lord is asking of us, with Mary's help.  However, ultimately God needs our consent in order to act.  Only when we take part ourselves as a student as it were, being teachable and open to learning, will God the Formator be able to come in and do what He is waiting to do in our souls.  

Docibilitas, being teachable, is necessary but this means every moment, every situation in our lives, no matter how small, presents the possibility of becoming usable by God to teach us and show is His will for us.

To become a holy house is to be empty enough of our own desires and will to be teachable and filled with His love and loving action on our souls.

St. Elizabeth of the Trinity is a beloved patron of COLW and her words below suggest what we are called to be in this regard and how she lived it out herself:

“Let us be for him, in a way, another humanity in which He may renew His whole mystery. 

I have asked Him to make His home in me as Adorer, as Healer, and as Saviour, and I cannot tell you what peace it gives my soul to think that He makes up for my weaknesses and, if I fail at every passing moment, He is there to help me up again and carry me farther unto Himself, into the depths of that divine essence where we already live by grace and where I would like to bury myself so deeply that nothing could make me leave”  

Letter 214, Complete Works vol 2, Letters from Carmel p. 179, quoted in the Book of Life, page 12.

We can pray the COLW prayer daily, to ask for this grace to listen for the teachable moments and the courage to say 'yes'!

O Mary, teach us always to say 'yes' to the Lord, 

Every day of our lives, 

O Mary, teach us to give thanks to the Lord, 

Every day of our lives.

A pilgrim's reflection: when 'yes' means 'no'

They said to him, ‘Allow us to sit one at your right hand and the other at your left in your glory.’ ‘You do not know what you are asking’ Jesus said to them. ‘Can you drink the cup that I must drink, or be baptised with the baptism with which I must be baptised?’ Mark 5: 37-38. 

 Today's gospel strikes me as a good example of how the holy things we sometimes choose with a positive 'yes' can represent a 'no' to the Lord. James and John ask Our Lord for seats at His left and right in the Kingdom. What closer place could there be but by His side? 

And yet, as Jesus' reply shows, the reasons behind their desire were not God-centred but self-centred. It also strikes me that this mistake of James and John is about the heart as well as the head. There would be nothing wrong with James and John taking a place beside the Lord if that is what the Divine Will required of them. So, where do their hearts go wrong? Where does my heart sometimes go wrong? It seems to me our hearts go wrong in wanting the glory of being at Jesus' side without passing through the sacrifice of obedience to the Father. What looks like a sign of affection for Jesus - for nobody could be closer to the Lord than those at His right and left hand - results from wanting something that is not of God: glory without redemption, a godless splendour. 

When I think I am saying 'yes' to the Lord by some grand gesture, or by the sometimes complicated ways I try to divine his Holy Will, am I truly echoing Mary's humble fiat? Or am I simply being a glory hunter like James and John? How can I be patient enough to let the meaning of His call unfold, rather than grabbing quickly for something I suppose to be the Divine Will? Teach me, Mary, the true meaning of saying 'yes' to the Lord in my life; 'yes' to the call by which He chooses me first (Book of Life, p. 13); 'yes' to the call, however humble it appears; rather than a 'yes' only to the glory I imagine for myself.

...a pilgrim's prayer journal...

 'Alas for your lawyers who have taken away the key of knowledge!  You have not gone in yourselves, and have prevented others going in who wanted to'.

Luke 11-47-54

Yesterday Jesus said the lawyers placed heavy burdens on the people.  Today He says they have prevented others from going in through the door of knowlegde.  I wonder where I prevent others.  Where do I take away the key and block others?  Where do I waste my opportunities to learn and then prevent ofthers learning too?  Is this a warning for teachers in general?  Could it also be for parents?

It might be for anyone who knows the truth of the Gospel but doesn't act upon it.  We have the key, we know the truth, but we don't live it and we don't share it.  We prevent others from hearing it too.  We waste our gifts.

Often when I read about Jesus rebuking people I think how I really wouldn't have liked to get on the wrong side of him.  He seems harsh here, angry that they were building tombs for the prophets.  I imagine these to have been memorials in the temple courts to the prophets of old.  Maybe it was decoration for the temple or a way to raise revenue if people brought offerings or paid to view the tombs?  

Either way, this gospel reminds me how much I rely on the merciful, loving Jesus and how I don't want to anger Him or waste what He has given me...  

... a pilgrim's prayer journal ...

 'Did not he who made the outside make the inside too?'

Luke 11:37-41

The COLW formation model is rooted in the journey of inner transformation.  This gospel reminds me that no matter what sort of 'practices' we do, how many courses or retreats, novenas or fast days we complete, we need to be so attentive that we're not just polishing our crockery!

Jesus is waiting to enter into our souls, deeply and lovingly, to heal, change and perfect us.  He wants us to be full of life and joy to the full.  If we will be open to His will for us in the small things of each day, listening to His word and allowing Him to teach us, our cup will be clean on the inside too.

Jesus told the Pharisees to give alms for what they have.  What are our alms today?  What are we to give?  As we pray and listen and ask what we are to give, let's ask Our Lady to teach us how to say our 'yes' to the Lord today.

Jesus, help us to be open to learning, humble to listen and really teachable.  Help us to let you clean the inside of our cup, the deep places in our hearts, and make us yours.

"Ultimately, it is about facilitating the coming of His Kingdom on earth ..." (pg. 11)

How can we facilitate the coming of the Kingdom of God on earth? We desire it and we ask for it every day in the Our Father.  What do we mean by this prayer?  Do we just repeat the words - multiple times - without really considering what we're asking?

On page 11 of the Book of Life we learn that we desire exactly what Jesus Himself desires for us when we pray these words.  We desire to be transformed into Him so He can breathe, work and speak in us and love others through us.  He desires to become fully incarnate in us so we can experience joy to the full.

St. Teresa of Avila wrote to her sisters about this line of the Our Father.  Her words are quoted briefly in the Book of Life (in ch. 4).  Here is a full quote from The Way of Perfection:

"Now that Our Good Master has asked, and taught us to ask, for something so highly valuable that it includes everything we can desire here below and that He has granted us so wonderful a favour as to make us His brothers, let us see what He desires us to give His Father, and how He offers this gift for us and what He asks of us.  For it is right that we somehow serve Him in return for such great favours.  O good Jesus! What You give on our behalf in return for ehat you requested for us is no small thing, although it really amounts to nothing when compared to the greatness of the Lord and what we owe Him.  But certainly, my Lord, You do not leave us empty-handed when we give You everything we can - I mean if we really give it, as we say we will.

"Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." You did well, good Master of ours, to make this petition os that we might accomplish what You give on our behalf.  For certainly, Lord, if You hadn't made the petition, the task would seem to me impossible.  But when Your Father does what You ask Him by giving us His kingdom here on earth, I know that we shall make Your words come true by giving what You give for us.  For once the earth has become heaven, the popssibility is there for You will to be done in me.  But if earth hasn't - and earth as wretched and barren as mine - I don't knoe, Lord, how it will be possible.  It is indeed a great thing, that which You offer!"

St. Teresa goes on to say that its not right just to say the words of the prayer because everyone says them or because they're just in the prayer, as that's not how God's will is done.  She says that His will must be done whether we like it or not - both on earth and in heaven.  His will being done doesn't depend on us and its a good thing it isn't!  But we can offer our own wills to Him and our desire for His will to be done.  She goes on to say that for people living in the world (that would be those of us in the lay branch), "will be doing enough if they truly have the determinatiuon to do His will."  

All this to say then, that by our desire for God's Kingdom to come, by our desire for His will to be done on earth as it is in heaven, and by our desire to do his will in our own lives (every moment of our lives - as our prayer says), then we are helping His Kingdom to come a little bit every day.  This can be our response to the offering of Jesus' own will to the Father that He gave in Gethsemane. 

As we journey along our pilgrimage we will see several themes like this come and go through the tapestry of the Book of Life.  We will learn about the Divine Will and how living in the Divine Will is not the same as 'doing' God's will.  We will learn about praying for God's Kindgom to come.  We will also learn to folloe Our Lady in her fiat so we can say our own fiat in the small moments of each day.

St. Teresa talks about suffering as an offering of our wills to God too.  Ultimately, Jesus' sufferings are enough but we can still unite our sufferings and trials to His for the good of others too.  We will also learn about saying our fiat in the trials of life too - even the little sorrows - again like Our Lady.

Teresa says 'we don't do anything ourselves ... nor is anything else necessary ... than to say 'fiat voluntas tua: Your will Lord be done in me in every way and manner that You, my Lord, want. But grant me the favour of Your Kingdom that I may do your Will ... in conformity with Your will.'

The quotations here are taken from Chapter 32 of The Way of Perfection of St. Teresa of Avilla. 

...a pilgrim's prayer journal...

 '...your kingdom come...'

Luke 11:1-4

When we pray the words of the Our Father, that Jesus gave his disciples when they asked him to teach them to pray, we are using his words.  This seems an obvious and rather banal statement.  Do I usually stop and realise that Jesus himself prayed the Psalms, knew them and loved them?  Do I stop and think that he gave us the words of the Our Father himself?  In Luke it doesn't say 'thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven' - but we know Jesus did say 'thy will be done' - at least in the Garden of Olives.  We can really unite our prayer to he heart if we consciously say his own words as if giving him back something he has given us from his own lips.

We ask him to 'pray in our praying' as we pray rounds prayers of the Divine Will devotions given to Luisa Piccarreta - if we give him his words in prayer as a gift surely we are praying in his holy will.  Also we're not just asking for ourselves but for the whole world, asking his blessing and the coming of his kingdom for the whole world. Using his own words expands our heart in prayer and leads us away from the risk of becoming caught up in our own worries, wants and fears.

It strikes me that these are the words he gave us himself, the words he would have us use.  He said that his mssion was to do the will of his father.  We want to learn how to live in the Divine Will - we dont want to just be 'doers' of God's will, simple executors - we want to embrace his will, live it and live in it.  If we pray Jesus' own words into everything we do and all that we are living and being, then surely we are a step closer to 'putting on the mind of Christ' as St. Paul suggests? We can learn to live our 'yes' to him in joy and in the way he would have us live it.

Walsingham is England's Nazareth (p.7)

Nazareth was the place of Mary's first yes to God.  She said yes, joyfully, in an ordinary house.  Walsingham is the place that reminds us of that yes, the place that brings us the joy of the Annunciation and that points us every day to Nazareth.  

Mary was so immersed in God's love and so completely living in the Divine Will, free from sin, that she could utter her yes in in joy.  Though she did ask questions, her response was free and joyful.

Jesus wants joy for us in our lives and most importantly in our hearts. He wants life to the full for us.  By doing what Mary did and learning to respond, freely - even in the hard things - we can find that joy and the peace the world can't provide.

The Annunciation is the key to the fulfilling of our vocation through the spirit of joy and thanksgiving with which Mary responded.  Walsingham is here to remind us of the joy of the Annuciation in our lives.  

By praying the Angelus prayer every day we can enter into this mystery more profoundly and refocus on our yes as we go through life.  Gradually, the more freely we can say our yes, we will be able to help others say their yes too as we become Christ bearers to them as Mary brought Him into the world for us all.

'The magi brought gifts and were deeply transformed by this encounter with the Light of the World' (p.4)

As we read and ponder the Book of Life in the light of the Gospel of the day and through the various encounters of daily life, we too can be transformed.   

We receive the words of Jesus in the Gospel, or read and pray through the details of His life and we become hearers of the Word.  As we journey through life we can bear Jesus to others as we receive Him in our hearts.  We go from being just hearers to bearers of the Word.  Gradually our hearts become changed through His action as He teaches us, little by little.  

We encounter the Light of the World through our daily Gospel reading and we can let that light be shed on our daily path, bringing about real change in our hearts and through us into our lives.  The way that a Colwellian soul would respond then would be to ask, how is Jesus speaking to me in today's Gospel?  What is Jesus teaching me through my life right now? What am I being asked to say 'yes' to today?  How does living in the Divine Will look for me today?   

The Magi realised they had stumbled upon more than another earthly local king, this was truly holy ground and the expreience changed them forever.  We can gradually realise that our own life is also holy ground, where Jesus comes to meet us, to heal and change our hearts.  We become holy ground ourselves - in the 'ground' of our souls -  when we say our fiat, 'yes' to God, even in the little things, and allow him free reign in our lives.  Gradually we too will return by a different route, as the Book of Life says, to lead more God-centred lives, gradually becoming more free to say our daily yes, in the small as well as great things.

 

...a pilgrim's prayer journal...

'Shoulder my yoke and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart, and you will find rest for your souls'

Matt 11:22-30

It might be that we think of the yoke and burden that we shoulder here is the cross, taking it up each day and carrying it like Jesus.  Our cross can be the burdens and trials of life.  But what if the yoke we shoulder - that easy yoke and light burden - is also that of being teachable to learn the ways of freedom of heart that will lead us to the beatific vision? 

The inner work of our souls can be hard work, deep listening can be the work of a lifetime - it can be a burden but we could wear it lightly, knowing that this way lies our happiness, healing and joy.

Learn from me.. Jesus often refers to himself as teaching or as having something to say that people can hear or learn from in their lives.  The people referred to him as 'teacher' - do we consider him our teacher or more simply a friend to tell our troubles to or a fixer to mend our days or a kind listener?  Do we really ask him to teach us and show us his will?  Do we ask him to show us the yoke he wants us to shoulder or do we just try to hand it straight back to him to carry for us?  In being 'docibile', teachable we become open eared and open hearted learners, with ears to hear and eyes to see! 

...the spirituality of communion... (p.3)

As an ecclesial family, we are called together as a Community to help one another grow, encourage one another in the ups and downs of life and fulfill all the goodness and holiness that we are called to live and be.  We are ambitious for one another's good, rejoice together in joys and share in sorrows.  There is 'a bond of spiritual communion' between the lay and consecrated branches.  

The COLW ecclesial family is one juridical structure in Church canon law.  This means that each branch: the consecrated sisters, future brothers and priests of the community and now the lay branch, all come under the same canons in the code of canon law of the Church for religious life, as a family of members in all states of life.

Here we are different from other religious orders in that we don't have a top down model with priests heading up the order and the sisters under them, or priests administering the lay branch.  Instead we truly are established as a family.  Each member lives the gift of their call to COLW according to their state of life.

As members together of this one structure, the unity between us really can build us up as a family.  We have a common obligation to love one another and to share in a common fraternity, mission and life.  We use our gifts for the good of others and for the needs of those around us. 

Whatever mission the Community takes part in will be a fruit of the charism. We are therefore a microcosm of what the Church should be, with different states of life working and praying for one purpose with a desire for communion and unity in the Church.  Our witness of communion and unity is important for the Church, especially in today's world.

 

...a pilgrim's prayer journal...

'Unless you become like little children...'

Matt 18:1-5

How better to become like little children than to be 'teachable' like St. Therese.  She is a COLW Patron ans yet nothing she has written appears in the Book of Life.  However, by her life, her Little Way and all her allusions to being small and even like a little ball in the hands of the Child Jesus, just here to please him and do his bidding, she tells us all we need to know.

She was the most teachable little child herself when she was truly seeking to do his will always by living her life in Carmel so simply and beautifully. She lived in the Divine Will completely and became a saint!  There were no extraordinary signs or wonders or amazing feats - she just gradually became increasingly united to Jesus in all the little things.  She was open to learning from him every day. Perfect union can look like just being a little child in his hands.

The kingdom of heaven belongs to them, the little children.  That surely means the beatific vision and perfect union and heaven forever - the union we all desire.  Unless we open up to the teachability of a child, we can't reach that level of union and Therese has been given to us to help us do that.